If I Ruled the World

Let's take a hypothetical road trip into what things would be like if I was supreme ruler of planet earth...

1. Women and men would only be photographed in a way that showed they had some self respect. Girls would not be allowed to be photographed wearing anything less than a T-shirt and board shorts.
2. Drunk drivers would be sentenced to a minimum of 10 years and their driver's license would be revoked permanently on the first offence.
3. The focus on reading would be huge in elementary school. Private tutors would be assigned to kids who have trouble reading.
4. Math would no longer be needed for anything. Ok, well we'd limit it to simple multiplication and division, adding and subtracting. That's all I can do, so I'm forcing everyone to be at my level. Supreme ruler Heather doesn't like to be less smart than anyone else.
5. Convicts would work off their time by building stuff. They'd fix up dilapitated houses and construct sketchy overpasses...
6. School buses would be declared officially to be the color ORANGE!
7. There would be a limit on how many people can go to one church. Once you reach the 200 mark we split you up into two groups and move one group to a new location. We can all get together every month, but other than that we're not allowed to congregate and hide in our buildings.
8. Countries' debts would be completely eliminated, and everyone would be allowed to start fresh. There would be equal trading for any place in the world.
9. All the cars in the world would be turned into extravagant planters and the only available mode of transportation would be airplane, train, bike, skateboard, rollerblades, and feet. And possibly mopeds.
10. Styrofoam would be illegal. Recycling plants would be set up in every city. People will get fined to community service for not composting.
11. Commercials on TV would be limited to 5 minutes per hour. Bilboards would be taken down, public advertising of products would be forbidden.
12. You must be 18 years of age to get a cell phone and be able to say at least one sentence without the word "like"
13. Walmart would be sued and shut down.
14. Dancing would be a mandatory event three times a day.
15. Santa would be exposed as the lie and fraud that he is and anything bearing his image would be burned. That's right I said burned.
16. Politicians would get paid a lot less.
17. Our national sport would be hockey.
18. Everyone would have free healthcare. I have an unlimited budget as supreme ruler, so you don't have to worry about us running out of money and being bankrupt.
19. If someone has a problem with someone else they put on a helmet and duke it out like men. No more hiding behind weapons. We can even set up official duelling sites for people with padded walls so they can settle their differences.
20. The elderly will be the most respected of all people. Growing old will be seen as exciting and desirable. Young children will flock to richly furnished and comfortable nursing homes with no understaffing problems to hear seniors tell stories and to play backgammon.

Ahh that was fun. We should do that again sometime. I rather like this image of being in complete control, I have to be careful I don't let it go to my head.