So here's my latest thoughts on life.

I am a selfish being. After all God has done for me, I am unwilling to do anything for him unless it benefits me in some way.

And also, I hate not being in control. So I don't trust God about things that I should, because I'm scared that if I really give it to Him, he'll just take it away, probably because I should have let Him be in control of it in the first place. He keeps teaching me that everything is ALWAYS better when it's organized by Him, and yet... it doesn't sink into this thick skull of mine because He keeps having to explain to me over and over and over again.

Ahh life and humankind.