I hate church. There you have it. The true confessions of a Christian. I Heather, hate the church. I try not to, I try to be positive about it, I try to be a part of it, but in the back of my mind, unescapable and lingering, is that feeling of wasting time and energy for something that if it was taken out of my life would only succeed in making me a happier person.I supposed I should elaborate on my feelings of dislike towards the church. When I say I hate the church, I don't mean the people that go to church. I think as individuals I have met most of the amazing people I know at church. My parents go to church, and I thoroughly love and respect them. My mentor goes to church. My friends go to church. The people at churches are dynamic and beautiful and loving. But there is something about those individuals all coming together under a religious roof with religious cliches and signs and religious ideas, promoting their religion, that I hate. I think church sucks the souls out of Christians by slowly and steadily making us believe that what Jesus wants from us is to be utterly and completely involved in Christian things, and that by creating this wonderful safe bubble of Christianity we are actually doing his will. I guess to follow Jesus we have to file into church pews.
The worst part of church, is that every church secretly hates all the other churches and thinks that they are better than those churches because they aren't big screw ups like them. They are having problems because they don't have faith like ours. Or they are having problems because they don't hand out coupons like us. But we're not like that. We're different. We're in the right Christian bubble, the bubble with Jesus in it.
Sometimes it seems like the only thing churches have ever accomplished is to drive people away who didn't fit into our Christian stereotype we decided was necessary to be loved by God. And the only thing church has taught me is how to waste my life thinking about myself. Serving myself. I think if we were to really look at everything we do within the church (and I do mean EVERYTHING) we would find it's all for us. All for people like us. Christians like us. Everyone we've surrounded ourselves with is like us. And anyone who isn't, will soon end up leaving because they will realize that church isn't where they belong.
I wish Jesus could have lived in our time. I think we need him to overturn our pretty display tables and offering plates, in our richly furnished, exclusive buildings. I think we're so lost and in need of saving that it would take that much to get our attention.
4 comments:
Interesting.
So, what will you do?
Think of that parable of Jesus and the sheep and the pen (John 4 or something). The version of church you see is all the sheep huddled in the pen with the shepherd at the gate protecting them. You don't like that. But what your vision of church is those sheep going out into the field with the blessing of the shepherd and the promise that if they fall off a cliff he will come save them. Even if it's just one.
I agree, Christians should be in the wilderness, not the pen.
The pen is where our wounds are bound and our hearts healed, but only for short periods of time. To rest. To recover. To gear up for the next outing. To spend time with the Shepherd. But the majority of our time should be spent amongst the wolves. They are really the ones needing saving.
The shepherd isn't guarding the gate so we can't get out, but so we can follow his voice to get to him.
Sounds rough...Ella prayed a few night ago for our church and what beautiful people they were. No mention of four wallls etc... AS Christians, I think we need to redefine what Christ's church is and for whom it exists;we are sent ones...to friends, colleagues etc... Christ said that " I will build my church..." and I don't think I always trust him in that.It is an adventure for sure - and for me, off the beaten path! Love your honesty Heather and I hope you know how much we appreciate you.
ps. Just a thought that came after I published. Denominations can be a beautiful thing - people expressing their love for God in a variety of ways. They can also cause a lot of hurt and anger. But I don't think that all churches hate other churches. For me and my husband, we are thrilled that there other other churches in this city who are trying to love people where they are at. WE need to support each other, even through our faults and lives as sinners. New followers of Christ, in my opinion, need a place to belong, to learn (as do not new followers of Chirst!)and to enourage and edify one another! Whether it looks like the church I attend or one down the street is irrelevant - only that the people inside are intentionally (although I do not always do a great job) caring for one another in grace, love and community. Sorry for the long post...I probably should have just wrote on my own blog about all these thoughts! I enjoy discussion and engaging my brain sometimes that doesn't have to do with 3 kids !Oh well - talk to you soon!
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